The Walter Robin Manuscripts
The Comic Verses

There once was a fighter named Jan,
A fellow to break swords upon
Whenever he died
The words that he cried:
'I never get to have any fahn.'

If you leap when you ought have ducked,
With a move you do not expuct
Blade flashing quick
And hit with a trick,
Then you, old boy, have been Puck'd.
The drunken never should fight
And though the saying is trite,
Take it from me
When fighting a tree
Its bark is worse than its bite.

For Robin's courage and Walter's learning
Sir Walter Robin, folks wrongly dub,
Not lacking wit's subtle discerning
Yet he wields it like a club.
Have you met our Helene fair
With dancing eyes and frizzled hair?
Yet this I will say to explain
...Tut, tut! it looks like rain.
I'll tell a tale of Chandranath
Who showing of the wit he hath
By penning off a note imprudent
And signing it as 'Walter's student.'

Author's Notes

True Story: We used to play a game of drunken brawling. To play, you put the tip of your sword on the ground and your head on the hilt and spin around half-a-dozen times. The dizziness makes for quite a reasonable simulation of drunkeness. Once I did this, and trying to step forward, I stumbled off-kilter and side-swiped a small tree. It stung a little bit, but was uproariously funny to everyone else, which, of course, was infuriating.

Copyright © 1997, Andy Borman (Walter Robin). All rights reserved. Contact to reprint.

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