On the Proper Conduct of Honourable Quarrels

I have seen among the gentlemen of the Court some confusion regarding the right and proper conduct of dueling. This Ignorance need not be, for I shall set down a True and Honest method of giving and receiving Offense. Be not backward of accepting Knowledge, for thou mayest act to thine own Hurt, for the Defender doth always determine the manner of Combat.

All injures are summed into two kinds, these being Words or Blows. Yet all cases may be resolved by following this Simple and Just rule: the party that offereth Injury is the Challenger, whilst the injured party is the Defender.

Consider then, the first case:

W: "Thou resemblest a horse's backside."
R: "Thou liest!"
W: <challenge>

Therefore, while "Thou liest" is a greater insult, yet W__ is the Challenger for having offered the first Offense.

Consider this:

R: "Thou art as hairy as a Scotsman."
W: "As is thy mother."
R: "Thou liest!"
W: <challenge>

Therefore, while W__ may be said to have given the lie, yet R__ began it by offering the first Offense, and must be the Challenger.

The circumstances of Blows follows, likewise.

For example, W__ boxes R__'s ears or offers some other Violence. R__ is forced to Challenge, but W__ is, nontheless the Challenger, being First to offer Injury. Again, W__ boxes R__'s ears and R__ returns the blow. W__ is still the Challenger.

The Rule remains, even when complicating the Exchange.

Consider:

M: "Thy arms most resemble a monkey."
J: <slaps M__>

Again, while the Blow is a greater Injury, yet M__ is the Challenger for offering the first Offense.

As promised, I have provided a simple rule for Honest Men to follow in the Proper Conduct of Quarrels. Avoid quarrels, if Possible, but let no Man give you Offense. Take this Knowledge, and Act as Honourable Seconds or Primaries, as the need Requires.

I will leave you to Consider on final case:

P__ is aping S__, mocking him (but without Word or Blow) in the Company of peers. S__ instantly becomes enraged and strikes P__. P__ immediately challenges S__, as Required.

Who, then, is the proper Challenger, and who the Defender?

Author's Notes

Copyright © 1999, Andy Borman (Walter Robin). All rights reserved. Contact to reprint.